Howl Book One: It's Not Over Yet
by emmakim
Summary: Kim has liked Jared for as long as she's known him. Jared has imprinted on a girl he never paid attention to. Nothing ever works out like you think it will but sometimes, its better than you could have imagined.
1. howl: preface

Bare feet move against the forest floor. 10 toes, two feet, two legs, one torso, two hands, two arms, a chest and neck narrowing into the head of a man. He often wonders where man ends and creature begins. He often wonders which one he truly is. Sometimes he wonders if he is really either.

There is a constant struggle - living the life of one requires resisting the urges of the other. The creature is primitive, purely instinctual. It is built to hate, to hunt, to kill. The man is emotional, more so than he'd like to believe. He is built to love, to protect, to live. Somehow, this creature is still him. Another part of him, something much more alive. Something unrestrained in a way that is both terrifying and beautiful at once.

Anger used to bring the creature to the surface. And even after many years of self discipline, it sometimes still did. The creature seemed better capable to deal with his anger - it would consume and destroy the man. He rarely needed anger to shift now. With practice, switching between man and creature became almost automatic.

His transition will be effortless, he knows this, but he doubts he will ever get used to the feeling of the change itself - the ripping (uncomfortable though painless), the adaptation of his body (lengthening and more than doubling in size) and the growing of hair, claws, long ears. His senses change - he can smell better, hear every noise and see even through the deepest of darkness. His perception changes - he is more alert, more aware. His abilities are strengthened - he can run faster and for longer periods of time. He can hit harder and cause serious damage if he is not watching himself and controlling his heightened strength. If he could see himself, if only for a second to be an impartial observer to this creature, he was sure that even he would be scared.

The creature stirs, the man can feel it. He feels the man in him disappearing, succumbing to his demanding counterpart. He almost dreads it. He is often scared that he'll lose himself. Often worried that the creature will take over and never let the man back in control. But it is a risk he must take. He's heard of denying the creature, but to even try seems unthinkable. It is too strong, making itself known even when the man feels under impeccable control. Their basic needs may be compatible but their _wants_ often contradict.

The creature is now growing - growling and twisting and itching to take over. Much like an infant, the creature is driven by a kind of selfishness cause primarily by unawareness. It possesses instinct but no reason. It knows when to act but not why. It is motivated by biological need and necessity, incapable of taking complex emotions into consideration. The man guessed that this was the reason they were so unchangeably linked - the man was a pawn, providing the creature with direction, reason, restraints and restrictions. His brain controls the wolf, but can never suppress it completely. The creatures emotions are impossible to ignore.

While the man could find many reasons to despise his creature self, he could never quite convince himself that the creature was a bad thing. Sometimes it frightens him, sometimes it pushes people away and sometimes it often seems to create more problems than it is worth, but hating the creature would be like hating an unchangeable component of his soul. Hating his nose, the man could justify. Hating his soul seemed wrong. The creature had shaped him, prepared him and trained him. It had taught him valuable lessons about his physical surroundings but also about himself.

And he found himself obliged to appreciate the creature - if not for what it helped him to become, for what it had helped him to find. The man had never thought he'd see days filled with _her. _And he couldn't bring himself to regret a single thing that had happened to him or a single choice he made, as long as it had led him to _her. _The creature had made that possible, and the man was eternally grateful.

It was time for the creature to take over - both it and the man knew. Helpless, the man feels his control loosen, like hands loosing grip on handlebars. He does not bother to struggle - even the strongest of men couldn't fight this battle.

He moves, man no longer controlling his body. Slipping. Unhinging. Breaking free.

Something changes. Lines blur. Man and animal blend together.

And somewhere in the distance , a wolf **howls.**

* * *

If you could only see the _beast _you've made of me. I held it in but now it seems you've set it _running free_. Screaming in the dark, I **howl** when we're apart - drag my teeth across your chest to taste your _beating heart._

My fingers claw your skin, try to _tear_ my way in. You are the _moon_ that breaks the night for which I have to **howl**. My fingers claw your skin, try to _tear_ my way in. You are the _moon_ that breaks the night for which I have to **howl**.

Now there's no holding back, I'm making to _attack_. My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out. The _Saints_ can't help me now. The ropes have been unbound. I _hunt_ for you with bloodied feet across the hollow ground.

Like some child _possessed, _the beast howls in my veins. I want to claw out and tear out all of your tenderness. And **howl**.

Be careful of the _curse_ that haunts all young lovers. Starts so tender and sweet and turns them into _hunters._ The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress. Until I wrap myself inside your arms, I cannot rest. The _Saints _can't help me now. The ropes have been unbound. I _hunt_ for you with bloodied feet against the hollow ground.

And **howl**.

If you could only see the _beast_ you've made of me. I held it in but now it seems you've set it _running free._ Screaming in the dark, I **howl** when we're apart - drive our teeth across your chest to taste your _beating heart._


	2. one: all you ever wanted

_You see him out your window, even when you close the blinds. And all you ever wanted was someone to treat you nice and kind. _**All You Ever Wanted, The Black Keys.**

* * *

Kimberley Eliza Connweller was a simple girl, typical even. She liked the same books as all the girls her age, she listened to the same music, she thought the same guys were good looking and had the same idea of a fun Saturday night (not that she often got to experience this). Kim Eliza Connweller was not a jealous girl.

So why did Jared Thail have to change all of that?

Kim watched from a distance as Serena Harding, a sophomore with a senior attitude, giggled unnaturally loudly at something Jared was saying. Serena was a pretty enough girl (which didn't help to lessen Kim's hatred of her) but she was known for having a mouth almost as big as her giant boobs. As far as Kim knew, Jared had been on Serena's radar for a while now. Kendra McCabe had over heard some of the other slutty sophomores in the bathroom giggling about him - it had be come a much more frequent occurance in the last week.

It had all started a couple of months ago, when Paul had began to miss a lot of school. Kim was in English class with both him and Jared - she was even fortunate enough to be seated next to Jared himself - when she noticed Paul acting strangely. His temper had gotten viscous. If someone had so much as dropped a pencil in his vicinity, he would get angrier than Kim had ever seen. His grades were slipping, he was overtired and running a fever all the time. One day, he stopped coming to school at all. Kim had overheard Jared tell Mr. Schofeild that Paul was really sick and wouldn't be able to make it in for a bit. Paul came back looking completely different, both his temper and temperature were worse than ever.

To say he had a growth spurt would have been a gross understatement. Vertically, Paul had grown more than a few inches and was standing well over six feet. Horizontally, he had bulked up. He had once had the body similar to most of the other athletic boys his age - noticeably toned underneath his boyish layer. He had come back larger than most full grown men.

When the same thing began to happen to Jared, though his anger hadn't been quite as extreme, Kim had been upset but not surprised when he left school too. Jared's seat had been unoccupied for three weeks up until today and Kim had been more worried than she dared let on. Her friends knew that she liked Jared but Kim doubted they could fully understand the intensity of her obsession.

Jared had always been a good looking guy - Kim was sure she wasn't the only one who had liked Jared since his adorable little kid days. He was one of the few who had been blessed to never experience an awkward phase. Despite the glasses he wore as a child, he started out cute and had only gotten more and more attractive as he'd grown. But in addition to his looks, Jared was genuinely nice (or seemed to be from the little experience Kim had with him). In her opinion, any one who could deal with Paul Walker on a daily basis must be an unnaturally kind and patient person.

"Kimbo," Kendra laughed, waving her hand up and down in front of her best friends face, "Earth to Kim".

Shaking her head, Kim didn't answer right away. It was partially because she needed to organize her thoughts before she could speak and partially because she needed to do a quick hallway check to see if anyone had heard Kendra call her the dreaded nickname. _Kimbo_ was reserved for Kendra and Natalie only.

"Sorry," Kim muttered quietly when she had deduced that no one in the vicinity had heard what her friend had called her.

Natalie Capp, Kim's only other close girl friend, chuckled too, "Thinking about Jared again?" She teased. Kim laughed it off, trying not to let her face reveal that Natalie had been absolutely right. She tried her best casual smile and simply shook her head.

Kendra's eyes turned to Jared with a look that would have made Kim jealous if she hadn't known the girl as well as she did. "He's really not my type," Kendra stated for the millionth time. The normally boy-crazy Kendra had made it a point to reinforce the idea at every opportunity, constantly reassuring Kim that though she thought Jared to be mildly attractive, she was definitely not into him. "But he is looking especially good today. Time off did him good."

Natalie only nodded. She had hinted at vague feelings towards various boys over the years but Natalie was never the type to talk about boys. She explained this quality by saying she refused to feed the ego of any of the boys at our school. The arrogance in the place was almost palpable.

"Agreed." Kim said cheerily. She had been watching as Serena chatted Jared's ear off. His blatantly obvious displays of disinterest greatly improved Kim's mood.

Kendra simply watched Kim's face, amused but also saddened at the puppy love crush her friend harbored on the attractive boy. "Lets just hope that the time off helped his brain too. Maybe he'll finally notice our Kimbo."

Kim flushed a violent shade of red and shushed Kendra. "Lets just go to class."

But just as she was about to turn away, Jared looked over at her. His eyes looked all around her, almost as though he was searching for something. She didn't dare let herself hope that he had been searching for her. But a few seconds later, the moment passed and Jared was once again looking right through her. She began to doubt that he'd ever really seen her at all.

Jared skipped English that day.

* * *

Rain smacked aggressively against the windows of Kim's hand-me-down Jeep. She sat inside, head pressed against the cool glass windows and listened. Her classical music CD was on it's second rotation, she noticed, as Vivaldi's Winter Symphony echoed quietly from her crappy car speakers.

Kim and Natalie had been waiting outside of Kendra's for at least a half hour before she finally skipped out of the house, umbrella in hand.

"It's not raining Kendra." Kim pointed out when Kendra had made it to the car.

Her friend looked up at the sky ominously, "Yeah, but it will be."

Kim didn't doubt it, it was usually raining in La Push. Sometimes she couldn't understand why Forks and the reservation had a whether man, let alone access to a weather channel. The weather was always the same.

Just as Kendra had predicted, the rain began before they even reached the school. The three girls pulled their respective sweaters over their heads as they ran inside, just in time for the bell. Kim was the only one whose short hair had managed to stay dry. Natalie was relatively unaffected about the water that had dampened her natural curls but Kendra was in panic-mode, attempting to smooth out the ends of her soaking wet hair with her fingers.

"The one day I take the time to straighten my hair, it rains!" She yelled as they watched the tips of hair turn wavy as the water dried. Kendra ran off to the girls room, hoping to dry her hair under the hand dryer before even more of her dark locks turned frizzy and wavy.

Natalie took the opportunity to run off as well, mumbling something about printing in the library before class. Rather than hanging out in the hallway alone, Kim went to English.

Despite the fact that the bell had rung minutes prior, she was the first person in her English room. It was a small room but so was every other room at Quileute Tribal High School. Kim had always disliked the fact her desk was positioned in the middle of the room but she enjoyed sitting next to Jared too much to let it bother her. The only thing Kim didn't like about sitting next to Jared was the proximity to Paul. All through class she was forced to deal with their conversations and disruptions. Mr. Schofeild had repeatedly attempted to separate the two boys, but he eventually was forced to accept the fact that no matter how far away he sat them, they would always find a way to talk. Whether it was throwing notes, knocking on their desks in poor attempts at Morse code or shouting across the classroom, Jared and Paul always seemed to be causing trouble.

The second bell rang, signalling the start of the class, and Jared still hadn't shown up. It wasn't unusual for him to be late but with his recent weeks of absence, Kim refused to get her hopes up that she would be seeing Jared that day or any time soon. Just when thoughts of seeing him had begun to slip Kim's mind and be replaced with Mr. Schofeild's critisism of Animal Farm, Jared showed up.

He looked even better than he had yesterday, at least in Kim's opinion. His hair was soaked from the rain and hanging into his eye in a way that couldn't have been anything other than uncomfortable but he was laughing loudly with Paul and Kim had always liked him best when he was smiling.

The boys seemed untroubled by their late arrival. In fact, Kim was highly doubtful that they even noticed at all. They laughed all the way to their seats, ignoring the pointed glare Mr. Schofeild was sending their way. The professor didn't even bother to tut at them like he would on a regular day. He simply sighed tiredly and tried to get on with his lecture over their laughter.

Jared dropped into his seat beside her. His back was half turned away from her and his newly giant body hung out into the aisle as he leaned across to whisper something to Paul.

Kim could better see his muscles up close, but thinking about them too much was making her brain wander to many places that she knew it shouldn't. Instead, she tried to focus on retaining Mr. Schofeild's words as he went over the reoccurring themes of George Orwell's classic novel - his favourite word being 'dystopian'. He had moved on to briefly outline their next Animal Farm assignment, but next to her, Kim could hear Jared and Paul doing terrible impersonations of Mr. Schofeild as he slipped in the word 'dystopia' wherever possible. They were once again laughing, so distracted that Kim was sure they had missed the entire assignment.

"Quiet down class," Mr. Schofeild yelled. Even Jared and Paul fell silent, though it was debatable whether they did so because of Mr. Schofeild's authoritative warning or simply because they were done with their impersonations for the time being, "Get working with the person beside you!"

Jared slid his chair noisily over to Paul's desk.

"Mr. Thaill," The professor said, his voice sounding on the brink of fury, "I meant with the person directly beside you."

Paul did a convincing innocent face as he yelled, "But sir, Jared _is _directly beside me."

Torn between laughing at Paul's joke or glaring at him, Kim tried her hardest not to feel insulted that Jared had chosen to make things difficult and sit with Paul. She couldn't help feeling slightly rejected. She constantly felt the need to remind herself that even though she felt strongly for Jared, it didn't mean those feelings were now, or ever would be, reciprocated. Her expectations were much too high to place on someone who would only ever be nothing more than her acquaintance, if that.

"Back to your seat Mr. Thaill. You will be working with Miss. Connweller."

Much to her pleasure, Jared didn't grown like Kim had expected him too (though Paul did loudly enough for both boys). He just smiled as he slid his chair back to his desk and turned around to face Kim.

Kim didn't believe that you could read much from a person's eyes - and if you could, she was just terrible at it - but she swore there see could seeing something change in Jared when their eyes met. There had to have been something there. For those few seconds, he looked so open, like all of his emotions were laid out on the table for her if she had been brave enough to venture. Of course, Kim was not. She sat in front of him, allowing him to look at her and take her in and contemplating the fact that this could somehow be the first time that Jared ever really saw her - the first time he ever had bothered to really look.

And it was. Jared couldn't understand how he had never really paid attention to her and in that moment, he couldn't remember his justifications for brushing her off. It was almost as though he couldn't see anything else and he couldn't bring himself to care. She was all he could focus on, all he could think about - the most important thing. She was one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen. Kim. Kim. _Kim._

"What are you doing?" Kim forced herself to ask after a few awkward seconds of silence.

Jared's eyes widened, as if he'd just realized that he'd been staring at her, "Oh, uhm, nothing..." He stuttered. A faint blush was barely visible on his copper skin. Kim could have laughed if she wasn't so nervous. She couldn't believe how adorable he was.

"Okay." She mumbled, looking down at her assignment sheet. She could feel Jared's eyes on her again and she brushed her cheek in what she hoped was a subtle gesture. She really hoped there wasn't anything on her face.

Jared cleared his throat, "What were we supposed to be doing?"

"Well," Kim started, leaning over Jared's assignment sheet, "We have to find an example of a totalitarian government, past or present, and compare it to the government in the story in a paper. And we have to make a visual to go with it."

Jared hadn't been listening to a word that Kim had said, even though her voice was beautiful enough that he could have listened to it without interruption for ages. He was more heavily concentrating on how close she was sitting, the smell of her skin, the smallness of her hands as she ran her finger along the assignment sheet. He couldn't focus on Animal Farm when she was so beautiful and so close.

Paul was watching angrily from his seat, completely ignoring his partner, Jesse Handler - not that she needed his help. Paul had a feeling that Jesse would be spending more time looking at Paul than working on the assignment. Just like Jared seemed to be spending more time looking at Kim.

Paul knew instantly that Jared had imprinted. It was impossible to miss. The way he started at Kim was revolting. She was nothing special, at least in Paul's biased eyes. Nothing more than some girl they had been in school with forever. But Jared clearly didn't think so. He smiled the whole period, heart pounding every time she accidentally brushed against him and blushing violently every time Kim caught him staring.

At the end of the period, Jared reluctantly said goodbye and Paul dragged him out of the classroom.

"Do you know what just happened?" Paul seethed. He wasn't annoyed with his friend, just with the imprinting that would pull Jared away.

"I'm imprinted," Jared said happily. He looked like he was about to break out in a happy dance at any given second, "And on Kim! Did you see her? Isn't she beautiful?"

Paul rolled his eyes and said blankly, "No."

But even Paul's cynical mood couldn't deflate Jared's happiness. It barely even made him flinch as he continued his Kim rant.

"She's pretty, like naturally, you know? Because she doesn't wear all this makeup and pretend to be beautiful. She just is. And shes nice. She was so patient with me. And she likes to read! I don't like to read but maybe I should try. We could have something in common!" Jared said excitedly.

Paul almost growled, "Lets just go to class, loverboy."

All through the day, Jared couldn't stop talking about Kim.

* * *

When the final bell rang at the end of the day, Kim was thinking about Jared. She'd been thinking about him all day. She wondered why he had been staring at her, why he had been so nice to her and why it was the first time they'd gotten along so well. It was if, overnight, all of her prayers had been answered. And though she was still trying not to get her hopes up, Kim made a mental note to go to Church the very next Sunday.

She made her way out to the parking lot to stand in the courtyard and wait for Kendra and Natalie, just like she had every other day. She never expected Paul to show up.

"Kim!" He called out, half running over to where she was standing. He had been planning this ever since English - Paul refused to let some girl get in the way of a lifelong friendship.

Kim was taken off guard. She wasn't even aware that Paul knew her name, let alone had a reason to seek her out. The look on his face indicated that it couldn't have been a very good one. "Hi, Paul." Kim greeted him quietly.

He didn't look in the mood for pleasantries, "Look, I don't want you coming around Jared."

"Why not?" Kim asked, genuinely confused. She had never spoken to Jared before the project today, other than when he asked her "Can I borrow a pencil?" in the seventh grade, to which she embarrassingly mumbled a 'yes'. Neither were exactly threatening conversations.

Just as Paul was about to answer her question, Kim saw Jared running over. She couldn't help but admire his new body and the effortless way he ran.

"What's happening here?" Jared asked when he reached them . He wasn't even panting, despite the distance and speed of his run over. Kim knew he was in good shape but this was better than she'd ever expected. Too bad she would never get to see...

"I was just about to tell Kimmy here about the kinds of people that she should stick to being friends with." Paul barked.

Jared saw Kim's eyes narrow with distaste. He resisted the strong urge to hurt his best friend. No one should upset Kim like that. He had never been the overly protective type, but when it came to Kim, he would not put up with anything that upset her.

"Paul," Jared said in a warning tone. He surprised himself with his amount of control - he had expected it to come out like a growl. "Let it-"

Kim cut him off with an angry objection. "You can't just come up to someone and boss them around, Paul." People who thought they could do whatever they wanted to anyone and say anything, no matter who it hurt, had always really bothered Kim, "I haven't done anything but worked on a project with Jared and even if it was more than that, we both should be able to do what we want. You're not the boss of either of us, so don't even start with me."

Paul looked taken back for a brief moment before he became purely angry. Neither Jared nor Paul had expected Kim to lash out at him. Jared found her oddly attractive when she was angry. The way her dark eyes flashed, totally unreserved. The way she took a step forward in what was meant to be an intimidating gesture but was just endearing on someone who only stood at mid-height.

Just as Paul began to shake, Kim flushed red. Whether it was because she was embarrassed or scared, Jared couldn't tell. Whatever the reason, Kim flushed deeper when she saw the entranced look on Jared's face (the kind of look that only thoughts of her could provoke). She began to back up slowly, "I'll see you tomorrow Jared." She tried her best at a small smile and walked off.

She felt a little good.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Kim had dropped Kendra and Natalie off at home. She'd been oddly silent in the car and she knew her friends had noticed, though they hadn't said anything. Kendra was the last stop, and Kim had reversed so fast out of the driveway that she had driven down the street by the time Kendra had even reached her front door. She was feeling especially tired and lazy - days spent worrying about Jared were oddly exhausting.

He looked _good_, she couldn't deny that. The time off had allowed for a surprising amount of growth - most likely more than was naturally possible but Kim was choosing to dismiss the drug rumors that had already begun to surround him. It could have been his size or the tired look in his eyes, but Kim thought Jared looked much more mature.

She was beginning to feel a bit embarrassed about her behavior after school. She hadn't intended to yell at Paul, especially not in front of Jared.

_He probably thinks I'm such a freak.._ Kim thought sadly as she unlocked her front door. She didn't want to dwell on a moment she would love to forget but Kim just couldn't understand why Paul had made such a big deal out of an assigned project. _Unless..._

Kim's thoughts all led to that and then trailed off. She was refusing to get her hopes up. When it came to Jared, that had always gotten the same result - disappointment.

Kim pulled her sweatshirt off, throwing it lazily onto the sitting room floor, before walking down the dimly lit hallway and into the kitchen. As she moved around the island on her way to the last piece of cheesecake left from desert the night before, she heard the phone ring.


	3. two: animal

_I change shapes just to hide in this place but I'm still, I'm still an animal. Nobody knows it but me, when I slip, yeah I slip, I'm still an animal._ **Animal, Miike Snow.**

* * *

Kim picked up the receiver and placed it to her ear, "Hello?" She said politely.

"I'm sorry." A voice spit out, as thought the person was reluctant to say it.

"Paul?"

"Who else would it be?" Paul laughed, though it was more a sarcastic chuckle than anything else. He was hot and cold. One minute he would be furious, and the next he was completely civil, pretending nothing had gone on in the first place. She supposed it was easier for him - pretending nothing had happened eliminated the need for awkward explanations and apologies - but it was throwing Kim for a loop.

"Well," Kim rambled nervously, awaiting the minute his temper would change, "It could be a number of people."

This time Paul laughed with humor, "You got a lot of enemies, Connweller?"

"Well no but-"

"Look, I'm just calling to say I'm sorry."

"Okay," He heard Kim pause nervously and rolled his eyes. She was so quiet, so shy - it unnerved him. A few seconds of silence later, she finished her statement with a quiet "thanks," and Paul took it as his que to end the conversation.

"Notta problem. Catch ya later Kim." Before waiting to hear her confused goodbye, Paul slammed Jared's cellphone shut with such force that Jared was surprised it didn't fall to pieces.

"Paul!" Jared scolded, snatching his phone back, "I told you to let me talk to her!"

His friend simply shrugged, "It's no big deal, just call her back."

"Well I can't do that now. She'll be creeped out."

"She should be creeped out. She's got herself a werewolf stalker." Paul sighed, knocking the phone out of Jared's hand and into his own. Jared watched nervously. It was partially for fear of Paul actually breaking if phone this time and partially because of the realization that in just a few seconds he would have to think of something interesting to say to Kim.

"Hello?" Though she sounded a bit nervous, most likely expecting a call back from Paul, Kim's voice was heavenly.

"Hi Kim, its Jared."

She brightened immediately, "Hi Jared."

"I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry about Paul today. He's just got some stuff going on but it still isn't an excuse. He shouldn't ever talk to you like that - nobody should. So I just wanted to make sure that everything is okay and you're mad at me, because I would really hate it if you were."

"I'm not mad Jared." Kim giggled, "And I'm really glad that you called."

"Really?" Jared asked, surprised. Kim's confidence was beginning to blow him away. He'd always thought of her as such a shy girl, but something about her lately seemed completely the opposite, at least around him, and he liked it. Of course, he knew he'd like Kim no matter how shy she was, but he appreciated her new boldness with him and he liked feeling as though he was a part of it.

"Really. Besides, we have to work out details for our project." Kim stated, for fear that she was beginning to sound to eager. Jared felt his happiness deflate, but only slightly. She was still happy that he'd called, and that was what mattered.

"We should get together to work on it, maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure. You can come over after school. You know, if you want." She'd tacked the end part of her sentence on purely out of politeness - the pause before it indicated that to Jared. He admired her courtesy; the way she was always considering the feelings of others.

Jared's response was dripping with excitement, "Sure!"

Kim giggled quietly, happy to hear that Jared seemed as excited to get together as she did - and this time she was positive that his excitement was not remotely for the assignment. A silence followed, both people too afraid of what the other thought of them to push the conversation forward. Ultimately, Kim ended the silence with words that Jared didn't necessarily want to hear, "Well, I should go."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, right?" Jared asked hopefully.

"Right. Bye Jared."

"Bye Kimmy." Jared could feel his face flushing before he'd even finished the word. There was something about Kim and his feelings for her that made him say whatever was on his mind, no matter how much he knew he should hold back. He silently prayed that Kim had hung up before she'd heard him but something told him that polite, little Kim had been waiting for his farewell.

Paul was almost afraid to open his mouth because wasn't sure if he was going to laugh or throw up, "Kimmy?" He asked incredulously. When he saw Jared's face, he knew it was the former.

"Shut up." Jared commanded, hoping he wasn't turning even more red as Paul's smile turned into a laugh.

"I love you Kimmy." Paul mocked. He was bent over in a ridiculous position, clutching his sides and gasping for air, "Ou, Kimmy, I love you."

Jared resisted the urge to punch him.

* * *

"Anyone home?" Paul yelled loudly as they stepped over the threshold and into the Uley house. Though it had taken a long time (at least twenty minutes and a series of tackles from Jared), Paul had finally managed to calm down and suggested walking over to Sam's.

"In here!" A voice called from the other room.

Gemma Uley was standing at the kitchen counter when Paul and Jared walked in. She was leaning over her recipe book, the space between her eyebrows was furrowed in intense concentration as she studied a line of the page that was obviously troubling her. Her hair was falling across her face like a curtain, hiding it from view.

When she noticed their presence, she shut her book and looked up. A smile graced Gemma's feminine features and she ran a hand through her dark locks, "Hey guys."

"What were you looking at?" Paul asked, jumping up to sit on the kitchen counter. He leaned his head against one of the wooden cabinets, his hair almost blending in with the color of the dark material. Jared sometimes envied the good looks that his friend possessed - the shiny chestnut hair, his mysterious and intimidating almost black eyes, the dimples that made girls swoon. He couldn't exactly be objective about himself, but Jared was sure he would never have the effect on girls that Paul did. _It would really help me now, _Jared thought, his mind flooding to Kim.

"Oh nothing," Gemma said, waving her hand lazily. She seemed to be one of the only hormonal teenage girls who wasn't affected by Paul's good looks, "Just a little recipe I wanted to try out for Sam and Emily's engagement party."

Paul licked his lips hungrily, "What is it?" He reached out to touch the book.

"You don't get to know, silly," Gemma laughed as she tutted his hand away, "You'll blab to my brother."

"The telepathy thing is not my fault," Paul said indignantly, "It's not blabbing when I don't mean to do it."

"Blabber, blabber, blabber," Gemma sang. Her relationship with Paul was that of sister and brother, close enough to confide and take comfort in one another but also close enough to fight and tease. Around his wolf family, Paul was not always the temperamental guy that he seemed.

But sometimes, he was.

"I'm going to kill you," Paul growled playfully, jumping off the counter and advancing towards the small girl. Gemma giggled and ran to hide behind Jared's bulky frame. A few weeks ago, he would have offered very little protection to her. That day, standing over six feet with a sudden gain of a good amount of muscle, Jared was the perfect protector - he was built that way.

"No, you will not," Sam ordered sternly as he walked in from the front hall. He muttered a quick greeting to the boys and threw his coat onto the back of one of the kitchen chairs. Sam looked tired, he'd been forced to run extra patrols since Jared had returned to school and the pressure was closing in on him. The turning of more wolves could only mean that the vampire threat was slowly increasing and the danger that could be lurking seemed much too daunting for a pack of only three. He turned to Gemma, rubbing his temples with his first two fingers, "Where's Emily?"

"She's gone to the store," Gemma muttered, frowning at her brother in a worried way, "she'll back soon to help me start supper."

Sam tried not to let his frown show through, and leaned down to place a kiss on the top of Gemma's head, "Alright, I'm just going to get cleaned up, Gem, then the boys and I have to have a meeting."

"Alright, I'll just go do homework upstairs." Overprotective Sam rarely allowed Gemma to be part of wolf meetings, though sometimes she seemed to be as much a part of the pack as the rest of them. "Someone just come get me when it's okay to come back down."

Gemma grabbed her cookbook, sticking her tongue out at Paul as she skipped up the stairs behind her brother. The other boys made themselves comfortable in the small living room. Paul threw his large body across the worn couch and closed his eyes. Jared sat lightly on the single chair, dreading the moment that he would have to tell Sam about the imprinting incident. Nothing seemed more mortifying than discussing his almost nonexistent love life.

Sam came back down only a few minutes later, looking showered and clean in fresh clothes.

"What's the meeting about, _boss_?" Paul asked, his eyes still closed. He stressed the word 'boss' sarcastically. Jared wasn't sure that 'boss' was the correct word for Sam, but there didn't seem to be any word to describe exactly what he was. Maybe 'brother', or 'leader' would have been a better fit.

"I think someone is about to join us."

Paul shot up straight. He was no longer sleepy as he turned his eyes to Sam in alarm. It hadn't been long since Jared's transformation but it had really never occurred to him that at some point, there would be more than three wolves wandering around La Push. He was comfortable in their trio, finally growing used to being a wolf, following commands and working at his new, unavoidable job. The stress of another brother seemed like more than he could handle.

"Are you sure?" Jared asked.

Sam shrugged, in a way that indicated his relaxation with the situation as opposed to doubts or uncertainty, "Pretty sure. I can feel it." Whether it was an added alpha bonus or just his amazingly tuned intuition, Sam's feelings were almost always dead on. "I just need you two to keep an eye out for who it is. It's important that we know, so we can monitor the situation."

Monitoring the situation sounded like the last thing Jared wanted to do. He didn't even want a new wolf, let alone a new thing to babysit, but he knew the alpha command would be undeniable so he simply agreed before it could come to that, "Sure thing."

"I have some interesting news too," Paul had moved on from the stress of a new wolf and to the humor of embarrassing his unfortunately love struck friend.

Sam was peering out the window anxiously, most likely waiting for Emily's return. "What?" He asked, distractedly.

"Jared imprinted."

"No." Sam said skeptically. The second piece of large news that day caught his attention. His fiancee hadn't slipped his mind - that was definitely impossible - but staring out the window was much less interesting than Jared's imprinting.

One look at Jared and Sam didn't need a verbal confirmation. He looked lovestruck, embarrassed and slightly panicked, all the emotions that Sam could remember feeling not so long ago. Sam couldn't help but be amused at Jared's sudden bashfulness. He knew all the joys of imprinting and everything that came along with it. He couldn't tell whether he should laugh or hug the poor kid who was so obviously struggling with his new emotions.

Jared just nodded, lost in his thoughts.

"On who?" Sam asked. He had an air of disbelief, unsurprisingly. It wasn't that he doubted their honesty - Sam knew the boys would have no reason to lie and test his patience. It just seemed impossible that this imprinting, which was supposed to be something so uncommon in the Tribe's history, had already happened for two of the three boys in one generation.

"Kim Connweller," Jared's voice swelled with pride as he said her name. Paul didn't see the reasons that Jared was so proud of the unremarkable girl, but to Jared, there could be nothing more lovely or perfect or significant than Kim.

Sam was slightly disappointed when he didn't recognize her name and no faces came to mind. He had made it a priority for him to know everyone within their small tribe, but somehow Kim had slipped from his memory. "I don't think I know her."

Paul made a deep, throaty noise, somehow combining a snort and a scoff, "Not surprising."

"Shut up." Jared growled.

"Well congrats." Sam smiled, reaching out to clap Jared on the back. His large hand was too warm and he hit much harder than the normal person but Jared accepted the gesture, knowing that it was the closest to outright affection he'd receive. Sam was more playful, not the type for serious hugs. "And if you need to talk or advice or anything, you can always ask."

"Thanks Sam."

"No problem." Sam got up to leave, but just before he reached the door, he turned around, "Oh, and don't tell Gemma. Imprinting is off limits with her."

* * *

To say that Jared's day had been anything other than life-altering would be a lie. All in one day, he had found of out he was failing every single course (due to his extended "sick" period), he'd learned of a new, soon-to-be wolf and most importantly, he'd returned to school and met his soul mate. Jared thought about Kim all night. He hadn't had an imprint long enough to say for sure that this was how it would always be, but if Sam was anything to go by, Kim would be all Jared could think about for a very long time to come.

He was lying in his bed; blankets resting around his waist, his topless chest exposed to the cool air circulating through his dark bedroom. He thought about himself - his heat, his body, his life. He wondered if Kim would accept him for what he was and he longed for the day when he could tell her. He wanted them to be together, honestly and properly, like Sam and Emily. He envied them but tried his best not to compare his relationship (or lack thereof) to the other couple, because he was sure that getting his hopes up could only lead to them crashing down.

Was it wrong for him to want her - to hug her and kiss her and touch her? Was it wrong for him to picture their life together and the little children they would have, who would hopefully all inherit Kim's intelligence and beauty?

No, it wasn't bad. But it was very unlike Jared.

And surprisingly, he didn't mind.

* * *

Even the next morning, Kim was unable to shake the look of confusion off of her face. She went through her morning routine in a thoughtful daze, her mind unable to think of anything else than Jared and his sudden interest in her boring self. His phone call made things even more confusing to Kim. Why had he called her? Just to settle the little dispute she'd had with Paul over this tiny assignment? Something told Kim that it was more than that.

It was most definitely more than that. Despite the forced phone call, Jared was still worried that Kim was upset by what Paul had done. He didn't think he would be able to let it go until he could see Kim and be 100% sure that she was okay.

That was the thing about imprinting that Jared had discovered very early on. It was complete and utter devotion. The other person became a part of you, unchangeably and forever. Just as the wolf was a part of him, so was Kim. Jared was beginning to feel as though there were soon going to be too many parts of him to handle.

"Penny for your thoughts?" His least favorite sophomore, Serena Harding asked with a toothy grin. Jared felt very unnerved at the way she always managed to sneak up on him like that.

"I'm not sure his thoughts are worth that much." Gemma cut in, reaching her hand up to knock her fist playfully against Jared's skull, "Not too much goes on up there."

Definitely far from the sharpest tool in the shed, Gemma was hardly one to talk, but Jared was grateful for her interruption. Paul stood beside her, hovering silently.

Serena laughed lightly and walked away, muttering a quite rejected goodbye as she went.

"Ugh," Gemma scoffed, "I can't stand her."

It was obvious, from the look of disdain that Serena was sending at Gemma's turned back, that the girl didn't care much for Gemma. Jared laughed, "I don't think she's too fond of you either."

Gemma ignored him and pushed on, "You know who I do like?"

"Who?"

"Kim Connweller." She said in her sing-song voice.

Paul raised his eyebrows, smirking innocently, "Oh, really?"

"Yeah, really," Gemma smiled, "She's super pretty, don't you think? And really nice."

Jared hesitated. Kim was beautiful, undoubtedly, and he longed to say so. He would have screamed it from the top of the building if that wouldn't have scared off Kim immediately. But he knew Sam's alpha command. Authority had been dripping from every word when he'd told the boys that Gemma was to never be told about imprinting. Jared knew the second he opened his mouth about Kim, he'd never stop. The attraction of imprinting was impossible to miss, even for those not in it. So Jared settled for another lie, "Ugh, I guess."

"Why don't _you_ date her then?" Paul teased Gemma, though his comment only granted him a sharp elbow to the stomach.

Gemma pushed the conversation, ignoring Paul's interruption as she so often did, "Don't you think so Jared?"

"Not really,"

"Don't lie to me Jared," Gemma said in a surprisingly firm and intimating voice for such a small girl. She reached over and grabbed Jared's shoulder, forcing him to look in her eyes, " I know you like her."

"I don't! Why do you think that?" Paul laughed. The boys had been friends long enough that Paul could see right through his friends words. And even if they hadn't, Jared had always been a terrible liar.

"I can see it," Gemma shook her head, "You can't hide things from me."

This much was true. Gemma had inescapable talent of reading people. Jared felt sorry for the man who ended up with her - he would never be able to hide anything.

"Fine, I really really like her."

Gemma smiled, relishing in her little victory. She knew Jared liked Kim, he wasn't exactly subtle with the way he stared at her or discussed her with anyone who would listen as long as Gemma was out of hearing range. She couldn't decide why Jared would hide it from her, but she thought it was more important to get the two together than dwell on being left out, "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?" Jared asked. Boys could be impossibly oblivious.

Gemma sighed and clicked her tongue in disapproval, "You have to do something, silly. You have to show her that you like her."

"And how will _he_ do that?" Paul asked. He chuckled to himself as he thought of how Jared could barely form coherent thoughts around Kim. If he managed to spit out a normal sentence, it was nothing more than an instinctual fluke. Gemma and Jared both glared at Paul.

"Flirt, flirt, flirt." Gemma smiled, putting her hand gently on Jared's shoulder, "And compliments never hurt."

"I think I can do that." His response was slow and hesitant but Gemma insisted on pushing him after Kim, pretending she hadn't noticed.

"You can!" Gemma cheered enthusiastically. She smiled as she wiggled her fingers in a wave, and said, "Knock her dead, tiger!"

"Yeah, _tiger,_" Paul teased. Just before he spun around, Jared caught sight of the aforementioned boy shoving Gemma lightly.

He'd pay for that.

* * *

Catching site of Kim was like imprinting all over again. World shifting, mind losing all focus of things but her, and his body preparing to protect her. It was a shock and a relief all at once. Seeing her felt right - he knew she was safe, he could smell her and see her and touch her (or he could have if their relationship had progressed that far). Just being around her gave Jared an unbelievable sense of calm.

"Morning Jared," Kim said bravely when she walked into English a few minutes before the bell. She looked even prettier today, at least in Jared's eyes. She'd pinned the top parts of her hair back with a jeweled clip and was wearing a touch of makeup that he hadn't really noticed the day before. She didn't need the makeup - even without it she would have been the most beautiful woman in the room to him - but he liked when her hair was pulled back. He could see all of her face and notice things that he hadn't yesterday when her hair had fallen around her. She had tiny ears (pierced but lacking earrings), a light beauty mark just before her ear in the area her hair would usually cover, and a tiny scar just above her left eyebrow. Everything about her made her more precious.

Jared went to respond but the word came out like a whisper so he settled for shutting up and hoping Kim had heard it. It appeared that she had because she smiled and dropped into her seat.

It was almost as though his imprinting had made him even more prone to girl-induced idiocy. The only difference was that it was definitely intensified and the only girl who could provoke this new, dumb version of Jared was Kim.

* * *

Just to clarify, I don't believe the wolves in Stephenie Meyer's novels are fully aware of the significance of being a wolf. That was the point of the preface. It is not written in the point of any of her wolves specifically - though as they grow older I believe that they will begin to realize that side of things - but just to bring to reality what they are and as sort of a preview for whats coming later ;)

And I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed. You're all lovely, thank you so much !

Cheers and kisses .


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